a couple of good weeks and now I'm so low.
I was happy when it was warm and I was out riding my bike. I was happy being with friends. I'm happy when I'm succeeding in school. I'm happy when I'm rollerblading. I'm happy when I get to take the top off my jeep. I'm happy when I am not alone.
I'm happy when I'm not alone.
when I'm alone, I'm sad, I'm dead, the world goes on while I lay in bed, a dirty bed, for I cannot even bring myself to wash the sheets. I have school books scattered throughout the house and haven't been able to pick them up in weeks. I'm spiraling down.
my mom says "honey, you just gotta do it"... yeah, well if it was that fucking easy don't you think I'd be moving forward instead of lifeless and comatose?
I need help. Sometimes I picture myself as this mysterious old house, that's rather beautiful, yet tattered... and it's always sunny and the curtains swirl around as the wind shifts them with it's energy. And all is peaceful and smiling. And then a shadow falls upon this house, and I'm left feeling depleted of all energy and positive thoughts, my house is now very dismal and brown and gray. And just before the cold darkness consumes me, I reach out... the last candle burning, yearning for someone to lift me, lift me out of this darkness... then the wind, icy and arrogant, pushes aside my soft white curtain to the lone lit candle, leaving me in the darkness.
The window is closed.
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